Are you struggling to move on after a breakup? Do you wish your ex would think about you as much as you think about them? You’re not alone—and the good news is, there’s a way to make it happen
In this article, we’ll explore 9 proven strategies to make your ex think about you constantly, even if they’ve sworn they’re over you. These tips are based on expert advice from breakup coach Brad Browning, who has helped thousands of people rekindle their relationships
But before we dive into the solutions, let’s address the emotional pain you’re feeling right now and why it’s so hard to let go.
Why is it so hard to move on?
Breakups are emotionally devastating. One moment, you’re sharing your life with someone, and the next, you’re left grappling with feelings of rejection, loneliness, and self-doubt. It’s natural to replay memories, wonder what went wrong, and cling to the hope of reconciliation.
But this emotional turmoil often leads to behaviors that can sabotage any chance of reconnecting with your ex.
When you obsess over your ex—constantly texting them, checking their social media, or begging for another chance—you unintentionally push them further away.
These actions make you appear desperate, which is not only unattractive but also reinforces their decision to leave. Instead of making them miss you, you’re reminding them why they walked away in the first place.
Common mistakes like bombarding them with messages, showing up uninvited, or publicly airing your feelings on social media only deepen the divide. These actions eliminate the mystery and make your emotions painfully obvious, leaving your ex with no reason to wonder about you or reconsider their choice.
The good news is, there’s a better way to handle this situation—one that will make your ex think about you positively and even reconsider the breakup. By shifting your focus and adopting a strategic approach, you can turn the tables and reignite their interest.
The solution: 9 proven strategies to make your ex think about you
If you’re wondering how to make your ex think about you—and even miss you—the key lies in shifting your approach. Instead of chasing them or trying to force a reconnection, focus on becoming the best version of yourself.
Here are the first two strategies to get you started:
Strategy 1: Shift your mindset
The first step to making your ex think about you is to stop obsessing over them and start focusing on yourself. It may sound counterintuitive, but self-confidence and emotional independence are incredibly attractive qualities.
When you radiate positivity and show that you’re thriving on your own, your ex will naturally start to wonder about you.
Instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about what your ex is doing, ask yourself: “What can I do to improve my life right now?” Whether it’s hitting the gym, picking up a new hobby, or reconnecting with friends, these actions will not only boost your self-esteem but also make you more intriguing to your ex.
Remember, people are drawn to those who exude happiness and confidence. When your ex sees you living your best life without them, they’ll start to question if they made a mistake.
Strategy 2: Take a step back (No contact rule)
One of the most powerful tools for making your ex miss you is the No Contact Rule. This means cutting off all communication—no texts, no calls, no social media interactions—for a set period of time. While it may feel counterintuitive, silence creates mystery and gives your ex the space to reflect on the relationship.
When you stop reaching out, your ex will start to wonder why. Are you moving on? Are you seeing someone else? This curiosity will keep you on their mind. Brad Browning, a breakup coach, shares a success story about his client, Sheay.
After her breakup, Sheay was constantly reaching out to her ex, Daniel, but he kept making excuses to avoid seeing her. Once she implemented the No Contact Rule, Daniel reached out within two weeks, confessing how much he missed her. Her absence made him realize her value, and they eventually got back together.
By taking a step back, you’re not giving up—you’re giving your ex the opportunity to miss you and come to you on their own terms.
Strategy 3: Use social media strategically
Social media can be a powerful tool—if used correctly. The key is to showcase your best life without appearing desperate or overbearing. Post authentically and sparingly, sharing updates that highlight your happiness and personal growth.
For example, share photos of you hiking a beautiful trail, enjoying time with friends, or trying out a new hobby. These posts send a clear message: “I’m thriving, and I don’t need my ex to be happy.”
However, avoid overposting or staging fake positivity. Your ex can tell when you’re trying too hard, and it will have the opposite effect. Instead, let your genuine joy and confidence shine through.
Pro Tip: Occasionally take breaks from posting. When your ex notices your absence, they’ll start wondering what you’re up to—and that curiosity will keep you on their mind.
Strategy 4: Leverage the power of mystery
One of the most effective ways to make your ex think about you is to leave them wondering. When you withhold information, it creates an air of mystery that keeps them curious about your life.
For instance, if you run into mutual friends or your ex, keep conversations short and vague. Instead of sharing every detail of your life, say something like, “I’ve been so busy lately—lots of exciting things happening!”
This leaves your ex’s mind racing: “What’s going on in their life? Are they seeing someone new? Are they happier without me?”
Mystery is magnetic. By not oversharing, you’ll make your ex more intrigued and eager to reconnect.
Strategy 5: Trigger nostalgia
Nostalgia is a powerful emotional trigger. Subtle reminders of the happy times you shared can reignite your ex’s feelings and make them miss what you had.
For example, if you and your ex shared a favorite song or attended a memorable concert together, post that song on your Instagram story or share a photo from that event. These small, indirect cues can bring back fond memories and make your ex reflect on the good times.
The key is to be subtle. Avoid directly mentioning your ex or the relationship—let the nostalgia speak for itself. When done right, this strategy can soften their heart and make them reconsider the breakup.
Strategy 6: Focus on self-improvement
One of the most attractive things you can do after a breakup is to focus on becoming the best version of yourself. When your ex sees or hears about the new, improved you, they’ll be intrigued and may even regret their decision.
Start by investing in yourself. Hit the gym to boost your confidence and physical appearance, learn a new skill like cooking or dancing, or dive into a passion project you’ve always wanted to pursue.
These actions not only improve your life but also send a powerful message: “I’m growing, thriving, and don’t need anyone else to feel fulfilled.”
For example, one of Brad Browning’s clients, Kurt, started taking dance lessons after his breakup. When he posted a video of himself dancing at an event, his ex couldn’t resist commenting, “Wow, when did you learn how to dance?”
This simple interaction reopened the door to communication and eventually led to reconciliation.
Self-improvement shows your ex that you’re capable of change and growth, making you irresistible in their eyes.
Strategy 7: Let word get around
Sometimes, the best way to make your ex think about you is indirectly. When mutual friends naturally share your successes, it plants a seed in your ex’s mind and makes them wonder what they’re missing out on.
For instance, if you’ve started a new job, taken up an exciting hobby, or achieved a personal milestone, let your friends know—but do it subtly. Use humble brags like, “I’ve been so busy with this new project, it’s hard to keep up!” or “I keep getting asked out on dates—it’s flattering but overwhelming!”
These comments will likely make their way back to your ex, sparking curiosity and making them question if they underestimated you.
The key is to be authentic. If your ex senses you’re trying too hard to impress them, it could backfire. Let your achievements speak for themselves.
Strategy 8: Be happy without them
The ultimate secret to making your ex think about you is to genuinely move on and be happy without them. When you radiate joy and positivity, it’s magnetic—and your ex will notice.
Focus on building a life that excites you, whether that means traveling, pursuing a dream, or surrounding yourself with supportive friends and family. When your ex sees you thriving and content, they’ll start to wonder, “How are they so happy without me? Did I make a mistake?”
This isn’t about pretending to move on—it’s about actually doing it. By prioritizing your own happiness, you’ll not only become more attractive to your ex but also set yourself up for success, whether or not they come back.
Strategy 9: Seek expert guidance
If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to seek help from a professional. Brad Browning, a renowned breakup coach, has helped thousands of people navigate the complexities of heartbreak and successfully win back their ex.
His one-on-one coaching program provides personalized advice tailored to your unique situation.
Whether you’re dealing with a stubborn ex or simply unsure how to proceed, Brad’s expertise can guide you through the process and increase your chances of success.
Final thoughts
Making your ex think about you isn’t about playing games—it’s about becoming the best version of yourself. By focusing on your own growth, creating mystery, and letting your ex come to you, you’ll not only reignite their interest but also build a life you’re proud of.
Whether or not your ex returns, following these steps will leave you happier, more confident, and ready to embrace whatever comes next.
Remember, you deserve someone who values and cherishes you.
